OH NO! RENEE ZELLWEGGER AGED BECAUSE SHE GOT OLDER

I wish the Daily Mail would calm the fuck down.

Renee in 2013 acutally

Renee looked like this LAST year as well, Internet

“OH GOD IT’S LIKE SHE HAS A DIFFERENT FACE!!!!” becries almost every syndicated blog ever in the last 6 hours.

In a wave of credible journalism everywhere, the Western world has decided to go shitbonkers for the fact that R-Zellz opted to go for the old botox ‘n’ lasers makeover.

Not news. Not nice for a human woman.

Not nice for Ruby from Cold Mountain (her best fucking role, Internet; fuck all your pedestrian Bridget references).

renee in her 30s

Renee in her 30s, that is THIRTIES

She's now 45, guys. FORTY FIVE and she looks lovely.

She’s now 45, guys. FORTY FIVE and she looks lovely.

Seriously. If you betches knew that you were going to be a featured piece of weekly female eye-meat to be leered at by some overpaid ‘writer’ over on Mail Online and you felt a *tad* insecure as a result, surely you’d want to at least try and not look like, totally your age or over?And screw it, if you did anyway?

All simply because MisogynyMail Online’ll have something snide and shitty to say? No? No empathy?

Well FUCK ME for thinking I’d be the same, panicking about all those EF zoom lenses in my middle-aged face going THEY’RE GONNA SEE MY REALNESS! THEY’RE GONNA TALK ABOUT HOW I HAVE HUMAN QUALITIES AND SKIN AND STUFF THEY WON’T BE NICE! And then calling the best surgeon I knew to sandblast my epidermis back to the 90s…hey we shouldn’t *need* to do it at all, ideally.

Or hey, how about trying to the make best of a face that’s served you well for years; and sticking up the Vs to every bit of photo-alteration in the process; refusing to wear heavy makeup, TELLING the papps that you don’t care, STFU because life’s more fulfilling than editing; creating the debacle in the firstplace, saying and showing that I DON’T GIVE ONE!!!

….Basically, this whole media monster feeds itself on expectations, conformism and body politics. Ask ANY woman who feel the need to edit her own photos because this world is unstoppably cruel to women. Leave Renee alone, she looked great.

rene-zellweger-cold-mountain

Ruby gon' hunt yo'  superficial bs aesthetes DOWN!

Ruby gon’ hunt yo’ superficial bs aesthetes DOWN!

Anyway. Ruby would’ve whooped all these 10ft zombie-leeches with wit and bear traps and rifles and simply eat all their ‘journalism’ for lunch.

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