WordPress. Oh WordPress. You are a blog platform so wonderful, so user-friendly, so intuitive and I am sure your designers and coders are fed on diets of fresh watercress, raspberry smoothies made by interns and hand-made sheep cheese…
…but WordPress, you think you know my blog better than me? Well, YEAH MAYBE YOU DO but tbh I really wanted to do my own Best Of list.
WordPress very kindly makes one for you, and sends it to your inbox. Which is kind of sweet. But y’know. I kind of feel I earned that privilege after boosting the WP empire’s hits by an incrememntal 0.000000000000000919% in comparison to all the massive WordPress sites like, um, CNN and Entertainment Weekly.
So while, apparently, the most popular hits were my posts on Julian Casablancas, Dom Howard and Adam Curtis, here is what you should’ve been reading!
BEST OF MY BLOG 2012, DUH
5. HOURS OF MY LIFE POURED INTO ONE TOP TEN DOCUMENTARIES LIST FOR YOU
If you know me in real life, you know I like films and I reeeeeally like documentaries. I spent literally HOURS poring over and then watching a tonne of free stuff online, simply to choose what to pop into this post, practically throwing an education at you in television factual production. You ungrateful soddites. WATCH THEM ALL I TELLS YA.
4. GIVING SOMETHING BACK EVEN WHEN YOUR YEAR’S BEEN A BIT WANK
When you have to leave not one, but two jobs – that’s a crapper of a year, isn’t it? I was hoping a few more of you would read my earnestly more Buddhist take on similar situations of WHEN BAD SHEET HAPPENS BOI, GET OVER IT YOU GOT NO TIME -but no. You all lead terribly perfect lives. Damn…..where’s Tumblr? (Exit crying 20-something.)
3. MY BAND OF HORSES REVIEW
Why did none (read: barely any!) of you read it? I made a perfectly acceptable postmodern analogy which began with Tumblr and ended in Mirage Rock, perfectly… nay, sublimely reflecting the band’s very real meteoric rise in popularity and listenership due to, aforementioned Tumblr. FFS. Massive meta-efforts wasted on you—ooooooo-oooo-ooooooo-ooooo….knockin’ on the door (repeat to fade).
2. WRITING SOMETHING BETTER THAN THE NME DID ABOUT MUSE & TRANSMEDIA (BUT THEY DIDN’T KNOW THE WORD FOR IT)
I do it all the time, natch; but in that moment of religiously following Matt Bellamy’s tweets about the new Muse album and researching physics: actual, quantum physics; BAM, I wrote a story within the lunchtime, like a proper journalist. AND Y’ALL READ NME DIDN’T YOU? Go home. Nope, you’ve done it now. You can say you’re sorry but it doesn’t change the fact you all read the NME instead of my lovely article. Grrrrrrrr.
1. BEST REVIEW EVER
It’s just the Best Review Ever and you should actually just read and listen. That would make me happy and much less angry.
And so, to finish on that high note and all the mocking anger aside, THANKYOU SO MUCH for reading and enjoying and commenting on this blog this year. Stats said I got 20,000 views this year alone – which is just as many as I got cumulatively for the last three and a bit!!! So thankyou, so very much, for making this blog worthwhile and I wish WordPress would let me make some money off it cause I’m bloody starving.
And thankyou, spammers, for filling what was an otherwise boring day job with many wasted, unproductive (take that, capitalism!) hours of hilarious “I like your reads, you are so informed about this matter you need is SEO! Do you have expert? See my site bookmark too it is http://www.getatitjob.com” and so on.
Bring on 2013 and much more chaotic, splattergun approaches to blogging about culture.
Auld Lang Syne y’all!