COULD YOU Disappear Here?

PEACHES GELDOF**, Boomtown Rat daughter, occasional Guardian columnist and the very definition of a champagne socialist is making an attempt at being a magazine editor.

So I know very well that knowing about and therefore ranting about Disappear Here is, like, so passe, but I don’t have MTV One at home. So one bored evening, my addiction to pop culture meant I had to watch her on-demand.

N.B. If you don’t know who Peaches is, that’s fine… another socialite who brands herself as alternative, seems to marry on a whim and graces the magazine covers of Heat and Grazia. Less of a muse, more of a paparrazi-mannequin?


Expecting someone of cheeky intelligence and rich-girl charm to fill the screen I was thoroughly surprised, and disappointed, at how deadpan she is in systematically destroying the egos of several young creatives who unlike her, actually need to work in order to gain success.

Actually that’s rubbish; I was more surpised at how much James Brown, Loaded’s founder, sucked up to Peaches – a form of behaviour that never used to be on the CV of ‘professional mentor’. He had the capacity to label her a visionary and a spoilt brat yet he failed to tell Peaches: you need to sort out your advertising and your deadlines or the magazine is going nowhere.

So obviously the conclusion thus far would be that Peaches is an annoying heiress with a cultural axe to grind. She wants you, the MTV-slurping audience, to know and in future, read about how she’s really alternative, has tattoos designed by a rockstar ex-boyf and knows, gets Bret Easton Ellis. If you take the stereotypical Peaches-hater approach (many, many people fall into this category – precisely the kind of people who do not like beng categorised) then you would probably say: ‘What gives her the right to act up like that?’ Or, the concise and just as accurate: ‘She’s well annoying.’

Fair comment. But before you hate Peaches, just think: no-one else could pull off that kind of behaviour quite like her. She makes arrogance look cool, and whilst this is a dangerous appearance for young impressionables who might one day want to work in the media, it is also a postmodern statement.

Namely: a famous figure can f**k up in public, get paid for it, get a TV show commissioned especially for it, bring a team with her and yet emerge unscathed herself – perhaps this is the ultimate transient experience and Disappear Here was an eerily ironic title for this project.

And 8,000 people watched it.

Not even Bret Easton Ellis could do that.

UPDATE 7/12/08: Geldof launched the DH mag with her puppy dog James Brown a couple of days ago. And I fully intend on getting my clawing little hands on a copy.

UPDATE 4/5/14: Looking back at this post, the tragic loss of Peaches Geldof from the world this year makes me massively regret writing it in this way. Opinions are like arseholes and unfortunately, mine was very large and clearly very bitter at the time. From 2008 to 2014, Peaches got divorced, shied away from the limelight, married again and then re-emerged as a young mother with an intelligent head on her shoulders and real courage to stand down her detractors. That is something I have to live with as one of them in a past life, and her courage is something I should hope to learn. 


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